Monday, November 2, 2009

What exploded?!?!?

My younger son will be 11 next month, and as a "good" parent I will point out all of his wonderful virtues here: he's extremely thoughtful and generous, he is always trying to give to those less fortunate, he is very intelligent, creative and adventurous.
As we all know...along with the good, comes the not-so-good. He has SPD, which makes everyday things like a new pair of shoes a HUGE challenge, he is chronically in-flexible and he tends to frustrate easily..leading to "blow ups". Even with those qualities the good far outweighs the least for me...except for one little quirk that drives me crazy...
He doesn't sit down completely on the toilet...he kind of hovers/leans. He has done this from the time he was potty trained...I have NO idea where he gets it from...perhaps its part of his SPD, the feel of the toilet seat just isn't right. I don't know, but today...almost sent me over the edge.
I had to go and buy hay this afternoon...we picked up 10 double bales..stuffed them in the back of the caravan and started for home...and realized that we lost everything on the dash...speedometer, odometer, rpm gauge, directionals, brake lights...we pulled out and checked every fuse, they all looked fine. Since I had left the boys at home for the hour we would be gone, I didn't dare drive to a garage, so we headed home to call our mechanic..and used bicycle signals the whole way. Yes, we looked like huge dorks I'm sure.
When I got home Zephryn came out and announced "Mom..I figured out what was wrong with my stomach!" (before we left he was complaining of gas pains...I knew what was wrong with him...and knew it would take care of itself in can only eat so much Halloween candy before it comes back and bites you in the ass...literally) "Oh? what was that Zep?" " I just had A LOT of diarrhea!" "uh....ok...thanks so much for sharing". I should have asked him to elaborate I guess...but, I was distracted with the van's issues and left it as he pooped and felt better. No harm no foul. HA!
After the call to the mechanic (Its going to have to go into the I can afford that at this juncture in time) I ran to the bathroom to relieve my teeny tiny bladder of the big glass of water I had downed when I got home. I stopped short at the door...and screamed. My son, whom I so much..had "hovered" and his ass had exploded...literally exploded...all over the toilet...the seat...the back..the TOP.
*shakes head* I wasn't expecting it...My oldest is a girl...and yes shes had diarreah..but...*shudder*...not like THAT....please..PLEASE tell me one day he will stop the ass-hover and actually plant it to poo....because I don't know how much more of THAT kind of thing I can survive....


Kimberly said...

OMG ---- I would have died if I had found that!!!!

Did you ask him to assist you in cleaning it up?
Maybe he would be more inclined to plant himself and not repeat the problem!

Our bathroom issues are with my two youngest! Liz is 9 and forgets to flush, over and over! We thought we did a nice thing, when we gave her her own 1/2 bath with the new addition. The smell that comes from her room is horrid!

Nathan, my second, seems to think that only poo can go into the toilet. He keeps throwing poo paper into the trash. So when you go into the kids bathroom and sit on the pot, your looking at his business papers in the trash can!

So I totally sympathize!!!

Anonymous said...

I so feel for you...if there is one thing I do not like, it's cleaning poop (and both my kids - yes, boys - didn't potty train until they were 4yo).

I know a hug won't help you with that mess, but sending one anyway. Hugs!!

Aysha said...

LOL! I'm so happy I moved out. . .And that I drew u into a false hope to thinking raising kids is easy lol <3