Sunday, May 25, 2008
The constellation Orion will always hold a special place in my heart, its the constellation that we were looking at when he proposed to me. It probably holds a different sentiment for him as I didn't exactly give him the response he was expecting, but I still consider it "our" constellation. And since I wear the pants in this family *hitches up pants* that's all that matters...OK, not really but it sounds good :-P.
It was a clear night in October 1996. We had been together for two weeks, yes, two weeks, I believe I mentioned in a previous post that it was a "whirlwind" romance. I wasn't kidding. Anyway, Mike made the drive over to my house and it was during the week which was unusual so I was a bit suspicious. When he asked me if we could go for a walk up to the Chair (the neighboring land to my parents is an old farm house/hunting camp and there is one hill that you can walk up and see the presidential range really well, its quite beautiful and I have so many memories of that hill. Ever since anyone can remember there has been a bench or a chair at the top of this hill, the last one my Grandfather built for the Varney family. It's a very special place. ). At that point I knew something was up. I knew it deep in the marrow of my bones. And I was freaking out. I knew.
Up we walked. It was a beautiful late fall night, crisp and clear. We could hear the coyotes in the woods yipping and howling, and the horses in the neighboring fields were quietly neighing and grazing. It was the kind of night you never really forget. Mike started pointing out constellations, "see that line of stars there...that's Orion's belt..and if you follow that star up you can see his bow..and those three stars down there are his dogs". I had never really had anyone point out constellations before and it was truly romantic and sweet. But that was my husband back then..before he got all crotchety and mean..grrr...No..just kidding..hes a big ol teddy bear.
Suddenly he turned me around and took my two hands in his and Instantly my eyes got big and I really went into freak-out mode. "OMG...WHAT IS HE...OH NO! HE'S GOING TO DO IT..HE'S GOING TO ASK..its only been 2 weeks! I cant say yes! but...I love him...and I think I could spend the rest of my life with him...but socially...ugh". It was Civil war in my head. Meanwhile my then Boyfriend was blissfully clueless to my torment. He looked me in the eyes and said "I love you, will you marry me?". And I froze. And when I finally heard myself talking this is what I heard "You mean right now?!?! um..well...if things continue the way they are going then yes". Oh My God..what is that??? He looked perplexed..and confused...Not quite what he had expected I'm sure..it was not a yes...nor was it a No...But in truth it was probably the best preparatory answer I could have given him for living a life with me. I confuse and perplex him daily still...just to keep him on his toes.
At any rate we were married 2 months later, so I didn't leave him hanging for long. And I've long stopped trying to make society happy and focused on making ME happy. Which makes things much easier and less stressful. Which in turn makes my Husband happy because it means less confusion and perplexity for him. So that's why Orion will always have a soft spot in my heart, and every time I look up in the sky and see Orion's belt I think about that night and how perfect it was and how I took a totally romantic gesture and nearly ruined it by worrying about what everyone else would think. Thank you, Dear..for not pushing me down the hill and leaving me for the coyotes that night :-D