Thursday, May 22, 2008

Culture shock?? Thar she blows!

I have to start this story by giving a little bit of background about my family. I was brought up in a non-flatulence family. That's not to say we DIDN'T let loose, we just made sure no one was within hearing distance when we did. The very few times I remember my Dad letting one go (silent but deadly was his motto) we teased him mercilessly for hours until we were all laughing so hard we were crying. These instances were few are far between as I grew up, like I said, we just weren't a family that passed gas together.

Fast forward to my whirlwind courtship with my husband, we had been together two weeks when he proposed to me, very romantically under Orion (I'll post that story someday), and were married within 2 months of that. Yes, I said whirlwind, i wasn't exaggerating. Of course being that fast and furious of a romance, much of who he was and where he came from were things that I had to slowly learn over the years, and of course there are a few things that stand out as things to do with culture shock tend to do. Like the night we stayed at his parents house during hunting season.

This was a month away from the wedding, we had decided to come over and stay and Mike and his brother and his Dad were going to go out deer hunting in the early morning and then come back to the house and spend time together for the rest of the day. That night we all gathered in the living room to watch Titanic. The living room was fairly big, it had two full sized couches in it and a couple of chairs and a T.V. Mike and I curled up on one of the couches while his family gathered in various places around the room. The movie started, it was really nice being there being part of all of this, I felt like I was getting to know a part of him I didn't know. It was a sweet moment. About an hour through the film, right where its getting dramatic and sad, all of that changed and I found myself in one of the most awkward places ever. EVER.

I'd like to point out right here, I'm not a prude. Nor did I find the following offensive, I was just ill equipped to handle it as it was a situation I had never had to deal with before. Remember when I said we were a non-fluctuating family? yeah. Well my Husbands family isn't. At all. In fact my Mother-in-laws favorite saying to the kids is "better out than in" (a sentiment that I wholeheartedly agree with now, BTW).

Half way through the movie, it started. Right around the time the boat hit the iceberg..i hear "pffft". I'm sure my eyes got big as I sat there trying to figure out what kind of noise that was and why no one was investigating it..I mean, furnaces don't go "pfft" do they ?? Was it the dog? She didn't seem very concerned, but she was old...Maybe it was nothing, maybe I was just imagining it. Ten minutes later "PFFFFFFFFFT". Ok...I'm not imagining that. That was a FART. I know it was. But, why is everyone still watching the movie like nothing...."PPPPPPT..PFTT" Ok..what is going on here. And just like that the cacophony began. and it went around the entire family member after another..including my husband..and they just sat there! Watching the movie! Watching the Titanic sink while they nonchalantly passed gas around the room. I was dumbfounded. I was mortified. I was....giggling. Oh NOOOO. Not the giggles! Not during the saddest part of the titanic! Maybe if i try coughing, yea..maybe I can pass it off as coughing. Nope. There I sat, with the laughter caught in my throat, my head buried in Mike's chest trying not to laugh..willing myself not to laugh, PRAYING to every God I could possibly think of to help me not to laugh. I did it..I managed not to let loose, only one giggle escaped. In the end I think it was seeing Leonardo DiCaprio's frozen corpse sink to the bottom of the Atlantic that helped reign me in, but oh, what a night. I think the funniest thing was when I asked Mike about it later that night in bed and he said "what? I didn't even notice"

It was quite the introduction to the family. I have since become accustomed to such things and have myself accepted and embraced the importance of a good wholesome fart. PFFFFFFFFFFT ...ahh..much better. :-P And just remember...everybody Farts ;-D

1 comment:

Gayle said...

When I was younger I waited tables with a girl who said she "never" farted. In fact, if you said the word FART she would freak out. Like cover her ears and run from the room, freak out. I found her to be very strange. My husband is a gas man...anytime, anywhere. Grocery stores I find embarassing, but what can I do? I love the man.