Monday, March 2, 2009

As the Arches Fall.....

Lyliana came home Saturday after an outing with her Grandmother to Walmart to get things she needed for her upcoming skating recital. While she was there she used her saved money to buy herself a new barbie. I'm not sure what kind of barbie this one is...beach barbie...mall barbie...as I didn't see the box and my daughter tends to strip every doll she has as soon as its out of the box. My guess as to what "kind" of Barbie she is might be " fallen arches Barbie" or perhaps "Birkenstock Barbie". Why? I'll get to that.
I played with barbies all the time when I was little. I had the suntan barbie, I had the growing skipper..you know, the one where you cranked her arm and she grew from a little kid, to a teenager complete with boobs. I even had Western Barbie..the one with the heavy blue make up on her eyelids..and she winked....I really think they should re introduce that one with a stripper pole...I think it would be a huge seller. I had Barbie horses and Barbie cars. I loved Barbie. One thing I really loved about her was that her clothes and shoes were all interchangeable. Sure the shoes never stayed on (Bratz dolls have fixed that...their feet come off at the ankles so you don't have to worry about little shoes) and they were impossible NOT to lose, but they were a part of playing Barbies and I loved them. Even when Mattel changed barbie so she didn't look like some sort of small-waisted freak of nature,
her feet still stayed the same. When she got her breast reduction, again, plastic shoes still fit her perfectly. Yes, I'll admit she was starting to look like foot binding was a part of her past...but all those little shoes I found in the cracks and crevices of my old house still fit her feet. And I was happy. Until Saturday.

Tell me, what is wrong with this picture??


Do you think I can find ANY shoes to fit these flippers???? No. So, dressed up in stylish ball gowns or really cute little suits for her Barbie work, she has to go barefoot. Yes. Barefoot. Picture it...Cute little black dress, matching purse and a hairstyle that took forever to accomplish...and...no shoes. Just these big flippers with their pink nail polish (yes, she has nail polish on her toes). How is my daughter supposed to hone her dress/purse/shoe matching if barbies feet are the size of cross country skies!!! And more importantly, what am I supposed to do with all of the plastic shoes and boots that are kicking around the house?!?!?! At this point, all I can find to fit on these monstrosities are GI Joes combat boots. As much as I love combat boots, that saddens me...*sigh*...Whats next Barbie? Hands that look like they belong in a zoo? Arms of Mr Universe? I shudder to think....

5 comments:

Kimberly said...

Well, there go all of my "Barbie foot jokes" that I mocked my toe walking boys with! LOL

Teresa R said...

Pole-dancing Barbie?! OMG, I love it! You ought to get a job at Mattel, Stace...LOL!

Looks like you now are the proud owner of Big Foot Barbie. ;P

Gayle said...

What's next? Sagging boobs? Belly fat? Gray hair? Needle tracks? Okay, I went to far with the last one. Can't all the tree-hugging feminists leave us material people to our Barbies. They've screwed up the rest of the world...let us have our fantasy! (Very fun post...thanks!)

Gayle said...

Dude, we have to get you faster Internet so you post more. I love your stories, photos and animals. Oh ya, and the kids, too! Miss you!

Firefly mom said...

*poke, poke*

You still alive?? You've been awfully quiet lately.