Making myself a drink...

I thought I would try and help my Husband out today by clearing the 15 feet of snow (OK, I might be exaggerating a little bit there...maybe it's only 10feet) that has accumulated in our driveway over the past couple of days. It was plausible, all I really had to do was move the cars, start the tractor and move some snow. Sounds simple, right? Yea, I thought so too.
I donned my winter gear; long john bottoms to keep my bottom warm, a fleece pullover to keep my top warm, a neck warmer/hood AND my snazzy new ear flap hat that Aysha's boyfriend, Dallas got me for Christmas, two pairs of gloves and some VERY heavy boots so my toes wouldn't freeze off. I was ready to go!
First..the car. It hasn't been started in well over a week so I was sceptical to start off with, but surprisingly it started right up with no issues...now I realize I was being lulled into a false sense of security by some God...or Goddess who finds my frustration amusing.
I got it started, managed to find my way into it among the wrappers and books and general garbage that my husband must find reassuring and comforting on his long drives. Personally I'm afraid of what may live in there..but I digress...I got it started, and as I stated it had been sitting for over a week, so what it was sitting on was what precipitation had fallen over a week ago, which was rain..therefore, it was sitting on a nice patch of ice. The car only has all-season tires. I threw it into gear....and....nothing...well, a little bit of something, i managed to get it going backwards a bit, then I would throw it into first and go forward..then it just stopped and the tires sang a pretty little tune about how they don't get much grip on ice and snow and how now matter how hard I stepped on it's little accelerator, it was going N-O-W-H-E-R-E. Perfect.
Well, I figured it was enough out of the way that I could at least get some of the driveway done, I figured a little is better than nothing, right?
Next step, the tractor. No big issues here, except that when I started to back up and put the blade up, it didn't want to come up as much as it should. OK, I can deal with that I think, I'll at least try it. So I did, and it was annoying, but it was moving snow. Which brings us to step #3. Now, I've plowed the driveway with the tractor before, and I did a pretty good job, but there was MUCH less snow AND it didn't have chains on at the time. I didn't realize how different chains can make driving. I also didn't know a tractors front could slide around like that while the rear wheels stayed in place. This doesn't bode well for a control freak who wants to move snow..not have the snow move her. Meanwhile those VERY heavy boots that I was wearing was making my backing up and going forward all wonky. I had very little control, because, well, I couldn't feel my feet. I came to this realization as I was careening backwards at an amazing rate of speed (ok, another exaggeration...but when you're driving backwards, half blinded by a hood/hat and not sure if your foot is still attached to your body or not...things seem to go really fast), at that same moment, the blade that is attached to the 3 point hitch on the back of my tractor decided it needed to tip a bit to the right, which wouldn't have been a problem if I had been one or two feet in back of, or in front of the flag pole that USED to stand in my front yard. I saw it happening, and was helpless to do anything. I'm AM very happy that while the flagpole fell in the direction of my house, it DIDN'T go through the window. Because the window is right next to my computer, and I don't think I could have dealt with THAT kind of disaster today.
So, here I sit, on my computer, looking out the window at my yard...the car is still stuck, the flag pole is laying on the ground, and the tractor is parked there...looking guilty.
My husband laughed when I told him I was sorry and said "all I need is a hug from you and my world is right" to which I responded "But I might break you" and of course being the guy he is, tactful and insightful he said "just make sure you don't break my pole". And to that I had no comeback..because..what do you say to that? I just shook my head, and made myself a drink. I'm sure I will forever be known as the The Pole Breaker; good thing I'm married, I'd never get a date with that nickname.