Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Old timey Christmas sentiment

I received a Christmas card yesterday from my Great Aunt Doris who now resides in Florida. I'm sitting here wondering if this is how people 70 years ago wrote their cards or if its just my family that seems to revel in the gloom and doom. Let me share this with you:

"This is a surprise to hear from you. I do believe your Stacy. Sharron's girl. You've got some nice looking children. Love them as they'll be on their own before long.
Oct. and Nov. I've been in the hospital. The 20th heart attack. The 20th they put a pace maker in but I don't think it's right as I had to use a nitro patch last night. One day it'll perhaps do me in. At least I've made it to 84.
My mind is going on a vacation. I'm always asking what I'm going for....
It's 80 today.
Love to all, Aunt Doris. "

Translation:
Yea...Merry Christmas...first let me tell you how surprised I am to hear from you..because you NEVER write to Me!..then..to rub it in.and make my point..Ill throw in whose kid I think you are...maybe Ill even write the wrong name...just to irritate you...Of course then Ill comment on how nice looking your kids are..and tell you that they're going to leave you...SOON..so be prepared...No Christmas card would be complete without a detailed description of my latest medical issues....and a remark about how I already have one foot in the grave...Ill throw in my age, maybe that will make you feel a little sorry for not writing to me SOONER...then Ill throw in some obscure blurb about me losing my mind..so when I neglect to write YOU back..I have an excuse...and..while I'm at it..I'll throw in the temperature down here since I know you live in Vermont and are currently freezing your selfish ass off.
Merry Christmas..and love to all!

LOL I love my relatives...and you had better believe this card is going in my "special" Christmas card collection :-P

4 comments:

Firefly mom said...

AHAHAHAHA! Oh, thank you *so much* for posting this. That is pretty much everyone on my mom's side of the family - her generation and older. And the funny thing is, they ALL complain when somebody else does it, and they ALL swear that they don't do it!

Stace said...

LOL yup. I love my Aunt Doris..I really do..and I realize some people are going to read this and think I'm mean..but you'd really have to know that side of the family to truly appreciate why I posted this...I do feel bad that she's had two heart attacks..but this is also the woman that after my Dad died last year told one of my Aunts that my Mom just needed to get out there and find someone...because "thats what I do..I find men to take me out for meals and pay for them..so I don't have to". My mother wasn't at all impressed. I thought it was rather creative..she is on a fixed income afterall :-P lol

Teresa R said...

Oh, family...I have such ambivalent feeling about relatives (as I've already said on my blog)...LOL! I love your "interpretation"!

Kimberly said...

LOL . . . That's the way my sister's 84 year old MIL works it! She does it for the sex too, if you can believe that crap! Creeps my sister out!

I just sit back and pee myself laughing because she isn't MY responsibility!!!!!!!! LOL

Where in Florida, maybe she's a neighbor!!!