I thought I had escaped...

But alas, the pull of the tiara's was too strong and I have, once again, been hog tied and pulled into the world of child pageants totally against my will. How I gave birth to a mini diva/beauty queen is completely beyond me. There is something seriously wrong with my DNA...I think both The Major and I spent too much time in the south when we were younger..it's the only real explanation. I mean, look at the evidence, I have a daughter who, at 4 years old saw a poster on a door for an up coming pageant and begged me mercilessly for WEEKS to let her enter. By the end of those weeks of hearing "Please Mommy...Please let me be in the pageant...I really want to do it" over and over and OVER it was either let her be in the damn thing, or gouge my ear drums out. Since I like music too much to go without my hearing I decided to get her a cheap flower girl dress off Ebay, and let her try. I figured that she would be horrified being up on stage and never want to do it again. I know, thats wrong...it's very wrong, but she was pretty shy and since I know NO ONE who has a pageant kid (I live in northern New England...we just don't DO pageants up here..seriously...it's all anti-pageant moms who go on about how pageants are damaging and cruel and all about the mothers) I was judging her reaction on what MY reaction would have been.....You couldn't have convinced me to get up in front of strange people when I was young, even with the promise of toys or vacations. It just wouldn't have happened. I was way too shy and introverted. So, knowing that she was kinda shy, I just assumed. DO WE ALL KNOW WHAT ASSUMING GET YOU???? Yeah....I totally forgot about her other DNA...The Major is a bit of a...*ahem*...showman...he LOVES being the center of attention. Probably why we work well together, I can sit back and watch and he can be right up front soaking in the attention. Apparently The Diva takes more after him when it comes to big crowds because at 4 years old, we went to this mall to let her do the pageant, she had on her dress, her hair was all up in an updo and she was clinging to me like she was terrified. At this point I got a little cocky and I bent down and whispered "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, we can walk out right now and it will be OK.". She just looked at me and shook her head a little bit. When they called her age group, I walked her up there, fully expecting her to refuse to let go of my hand, instead, my darling Diva looked at me..flashed me a smile and marched right up on stage with a presence I had never seen and won EVERY CATEGORY....AND got invited to the "big" pageant in the spring. My life has not been the same since.

Not only do we have the Diva, but we have NASCAR boy. This child lives, eats and breaths the sport and has since he was a baby. No, we are not NASCAR fans. How did he find out about NASCAR then? It was in his DNA, it really had to be...when he was just 4 months old...I was pregnant with Monkey boy (they're *almost* 11 months apart...yup...crazy I know) and I was EXHAUSTED. Gee..imagine that, a little baby and pregnant..and I was tired? Anyway, NASCAR boy was cranky. He had been fed, changed, played with..nothing was making him happy..and I was in need of a 15 minute power nap. I seriously could NOT keep my eyes open. So...I did what any good parent would do, I set him up in his bouncy chair in front of the TV and started flipping through the channels looking for something that would occupy him for 15 minutes. Cartoons didn't work, the music channels weren't working, sitcoms were a no-go...as I was flipping I happened upon a race...as it happens I clicked on the channel during the part of the race where there is no commentary, they just show the cars on the track and all you can hear is the engines...I can't remember what they call it...all I know is that as soon as the TV hit that channel...NASCAR boy was silent. Every time the cars would come by he would shake his little leg and vibrate...but there was no more whining or crying, just silence and the occasional coo. He watched that race for an HOUR like that, and I managed to get my nap in so I was happy too. He has been all about racing ever since and we have been subjected to NASCAR sundays and Daytona 500 parties and now he wants to join a go kart club here in VT. He hates the snow and any snow related activity and want to move to Charlotte when he is older.

See? I have a beauty queen daughter and a Nascar son....Both the Major and I spent time in western NC when we were younger...I really think some sort of southern seepage happened during that time that shaped our DNA, because WE ARE NOTHING LIKE THAT!! I'm really not trying to stereotype here either, but when it comes to child beauty pageants and NASCAR, you don't generally think of the north east, do you?

At any rate, here I am, preparing for yet another beauty pageant and shaking my head because I'm really NOT like those mothers, and yes, I know they all say that, but really, I'm not! My daughter is cajoling me with "You get to take pictures of me, and if I win any of the picture categories Ill give YOU the trophy!" . I can't say no to that now can I? So, on top of lambing and gardening and all the spring farm things I have to do, I will be adding "getting ready for the pageant" to my list. And to anyone out there that thinks this is all about me.....trust me...it's not. I'd much rather spend my time on my farm away from people and cities in relative quiet. This is all about the Diva and what she wants. I did put my foot down when it came to her wanting to do glitz. The little girls that do it remind me of weird plastic dolls. They creep me out, man!